D-day is approaching and it is barreling towards me at a terrifying pace.  When I say D-day what I’m really referring to is the end of maternity leave.  Somehow 16 weeks is nowhere near long enough, though I realize not everyone gets even that long.

Life After Maternity Leave - Naturally Stellar

Who knew that when I walked out of work 2 months ago that I would be contemplating whether I wanted to return or not?  Is this the dilemma that all working mothers have?  I’m torn between wanting to contribute financially for my family and wanting to stay home with baby girl.  I had no idea that motherhood would suit me so wonderfully!

Even as I sit here writing this, I look down at baby girl, who has become an almost permanent fixture in my lap.  I’m thinking of ways to cut back so we can live comfortably on one income.  Hmmm…. Cable is overrated, we could do without.  The fancy restaurants, who needs steak and lobster anyway?  The big bank accounts, didn’t the Bible say the poor shall inherit the earth?  Never mind, that’s the meek that shall inherit the earth.  Now I’m just reaching but you get the point.

Then there is the business of finding the “right” daycare.  If there’s such a thing.  No one can care for her like I do.  I didn’t have a clue that I would need to start searching for a daycare as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I waited too long and have been greeted with long waiting lists for all the day care centers that I think I would feel comfortable with.  I’m guessing there is a reason for that; other parents feel comfortable there too.  Go figure.  I have visited quite a few in my quest to find the right one and only a couple have made the list but the wait times are close to a year.  Needless to say I still haven’t found one.  Maybe this is my way of stalling the inevitable.   It breaks my heart to think about it.  There may come a day when I appreciate her being in daycare and having a break but that day is not today.
Life After Maternity Leave - Naturally Stellar

Although I have some misgivings about putting baby girl in daycare, I do like having my “own money.”  I like not having to worry about what I’m spending.  If I want to spend $60 on foundation, danggone it that’s what I will do! I mean, I do still have to fulfill the desires of my heart and buy lots of makeup.  I also feel like we can give little one a lot more with my added income.  So as of right now I have decided to go back to work.  I have even started transitioning baby girl to her own room, which is a story for another day, to prepare for my return.  But until then, I will continue to snuggle with my baby and brace myself for the arrival of Doom’s Day.

For all the moms who work outside of the home,

What are your experiences with leaving little one in the care of someone else and going back to work?


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I am a wife of 10 years and a new mom to a precious baby girl. I enjoy fashion, hair and makeup as is evident in my new hobby, my YouTube channel. To balance that out I also enjoy doing community service with my sorority.
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5 Responses

  1. Candice S.

    This was a great post Toya! I can still remember my first day leaving my little man at his new daycare and heading off to work. Luckily his daycare was in the lower level of a federal building so I at least felt like he was safe security wise…I still worried like crazy but eventually calmed down once I started to see how much his teachers and caregivers really cared about him and his well being. Then I could breathe.

    • Toya Stoudemire

      This makes me feel a little better. I’m just worried that she will cry all day wondering where I am. I’m sure I’m being silly!


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